[Guild Fanfic] Maury Tells It All - Chapter 9!

Last edited by Roslyn on Tue Jun 29, 2010 6:06 am; edited 5 times in total

So, decided to post it here instead of the main thread. So.. Enjoy!

To jump to to a chapter, ctrl-f and type the chapter and number (chapter #). It should take you to that chapter.

Chapter 1: Alan's Father?! - November 1, 2009

HELLO, GRAND CHASERS. AND WELCOME TO THE VERY FIRST EVER KINGDOM KNIGHTS EDITION OF MAURY.

In this episode, Roslyn's son, Alan, is trying to find out who his father is. He thinks it may be Kenssai or Sci / Forteex.

We took a DNA test along with these potential fathers.. and it turns out that..

Kenssai is...
NOT THE FATHER.
...Wait. Is he even a guy?

Um, anyway.
Now the test results for Sci..
Sci is..
NOT THE FATHER.
...Wait. Isn't he a bird?

..Well, there you have it folks. Tune in next time for the next exciting episode of MAURY. KINGDOM KNIGHTS EDITION. On the next episode: KIRI'S DIRTY LIL SECRET?!

Chapter 2: Kiri's Dirty Little Secret?! - December 4, 2009
A/N (Author's Note): Huh, this is funny. This chapter makes me laugh for obvious reasons. -coughKiricough-

Hello, and welcome to another exciting episode of Maury |KK| Edition, I'm Maury! In the last episode, we found out that neither Sci nor Kenssai are Alan's fathers. We now have a special update, "Alan and Rose, where are they now?"

"My son is off on his own now.. He's living with his friends now. It was so sad to see him leave the |KK| household, but he's part of the family no matter what. T_T"

How touching. I do wish Alan the best. ...Now, for our exciting new episode of Maury: Kiri's Dirty Little Secret?!

We all know that in the world of Grand Chase, Kiri is a male. But, beyond that male appearance, is Kiri really a male.. or a female?! Let's bring Kiri out, folks!

...So, tell me, Ma'am, does Kiri look like a boy to you?
"A GIRL, A GIRL!"
"Whatchu talking about?! She is totally a girl, a girl!!! A GIRL!! I AM 100% SURE."
"That's a dude."

You say he's a dude? Well, we'll see after these commercials..!!

"Introducing the new Zit-b-gon! Just apply on to the entire face, and your face will completely peel off to reveal the silky smooth skin hidden beneath those lumps and bumps of your zits! Now, we have these testimonials whom we didn't pay to advertise our product."
'This thing sucks! Don't buy it! My face looked entirely disgusting, my face was completely ruined and MORE zits came out-- AHHH!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT GUN?! WHAT? NOOOO! AHHH!!'
BAM BAM BAM!!
"Cough.. Um, it seems we've been experiencing technical difficulties."
Zit-b-gon! The new zit remover. One application, and your face will be completely silky smooth! Side effects including your face falling off, your face burning off, and so much more.

Hello, and welcome back to Maury |KK| Edition! We'll now find out if Kiri is in fact a female or a male! Let's find out a few things about Kiri first!
"Um.. I like yuri. *_* Lots and lots of yuri."
What's yuri?
"Um.."
...
"..."
So anyway, would you like to reveal what your true gender is?...
"FEMALE!"
"I KNEW IT!!!!"
"TOLD YA."
"YOU OWE ME 50 BUCKS."
"Damn."

There you have it, folks. Thanks for watching yet another installment of Maury, |KK| Edition. Tune in next time when we reveal Panda's Sexuality?! See you soon!

Chapter 3: Panda's Sexuality?! - December 8, 2009

Hello and welcome to the 3rd episode of Maury, |KK| Edition! In the last episode, we have in fact determined that Kiri IS a girl. How deceiving, with her male appearance in the GC world... :o Let's see a special update: Kiri, where is she now?

"I make the world go round with my yuri. <3 When I'm not spreading love and yuri around the world, I'm off at the Reflective Generation Official Request Thread making up for Rose's lazy butt and updating the request list for her. I mean come on, at least update it once in your life, Rose!"

Isn't that depressing? Go get a life, Rose, go update the request thread! Anyway, off we go to another exciting episode, today we'll look at Panda's Sexuality?!

Today, here we have Panda, aka Manifestx3, and his mother. His mother is concerned that her son is bi or gay, even! Mrs. Panda's mother, what made you think that your son is--

Wait.. Rose, you're Panda's mother? o-O

"I can tell that he is! The way my baby Panda Banana was looking at Ryan! The way he swings that giant axe at his enemies.. Somehow it's all in slow motion.. He seems so manly when he swings that axe.. Oh.. Look at him..."

... ... ... Is your mom drooling at Ryan?

"...Yep."

... Um.. Earth to Rose.

"H-huh? O-oh, excuse me-- I was investigating the source of my son's newly discovered sexuality."

Are you sure Ryan isn't your obsession?

"OBJECTION!"

...Excuse me?

"Wasn't me."

"It sounded like a muffin."

How do you know what muffins sound like?

"..."

...

"What about how Alistor!?"

"He's YOUR friend, Mom. You know he's never serious and just jokes around!"

"I KNOW YOU WERE."

"I'VE NEVER EVEN TALKED TO HIM! D:"

"That's because you never talk in vent!"

"That's a whole different issue!"

"...It's because you never talk in vent, isn't it?! I knew I should have made you talk! Oh, I failed in raising my son..."

"... Can we just determine my sexuality now or something?"

Certainly, Panda.. While Rose is on the ground there in despair in her little emo corner, let's go to the audience and see their opinions. Yes, what's your name?

"ShadyX5."

Shady...X5? Is that some sort of code name.

"It's my name."

Well, uh.. Mr. Shady... What do you think?

"Panda's mom is insane."

...Don't we know it.

"We don't have any valid proof of anything from this."

Except that Rose is insane.

"Yep."

... Well, that's all we have for today.. Tune in for the next episode of Maury, |KK| Edition, where we find out Sci's Love Affair?! Thank you.

"My poor sooooooooooooon!! You're too young!!!!!!!! Don't leave me!!!!"

Chapter 4: Sci's Love Affair?! - December 29, 2009
Welcome, my beloved KK members to another episode of Maury, KK edition. When we last left off, we figured out that.. Well, actually, we didn't figure ANYthing out..

"Except that Rose is insane!"

Yes, Shady, Rose is indeed insane.

"MY SOOOON. PANDAAAAAAAAAA. WHY MUST YOU LOOK AT RYAN THAT WAY?!!?!"

...She's still there.. at that emo corner..? Omg

Uh-uhm. Let's go on to the next episode, shall we?! On this episode, we find out Sci's Love Affair?! Please welcome, Sci!

-cheers and whistles erupt from the audience-

My, my. This guild loves their guild leader, don't they? Hello, Sci.

"Why hallo thar."

Um, yes. So tell us, is it true that you have TWO people you love?

"..Unfortunately, yes."

-gasps from the audience-

You don't feel guilty at all at the thought that you are cheating?!

"I love them both too much!"

Mind telling us who you're currently with?

"I-I cannot bear to reveal that."

You know we're here to help, Sci. Please, open up to us.

"..."

...-cough- Sci, we don't have much time.

"..."

"Then I'll tell you!"

Wha- Rose? What the heck? Omg

"You all wanna know who Sci's lovers are?"

...Quite so.

"Rose! N-Noooo!"

"Shush, Sci. It's not like they don't know already. They are..."

"Rooooooose....!"

"Chatot and Scizor."

...

-utter silence-

..Excuse me..?

"Chatot and Scizor."

....Pokemon?

"Yep. Sci likes Scizor, he was named after it after all. -shrug- But, we all know he has an unbearable love for Chatot."

...Hey, whatever floats your boat. You got no problems we need to fix, Sci. You're free to go.

"Um. Why in the world do we pay you for, then?"

...You guys don't pay me, Rose.

"Oh, that's right. Hahaha, too bad for you."

... Omg

Well, um, that's all for today's Maury, KK Edition. Tune into the next episode to find out what the KK members do at their free time. Until then!

"Forgive me, Scizor! I love you both!"

"Scizor!"

"Chatot!"

Chapter 5: KK Members' Free Time - January 16, 2010

Hey there, KKers! Welcome to the 5th episode of Maury. :) I'm your host, Maury. In the last episode, we found out that Sci is having a love affair with Chatot and Scizor. ...Can you truly count that as a love affair? And we also found out that I don't get paid for doing this.. Omg

Anyway, in this next episode, we dig deep into What Do Some of Our KKers Do in Their Free Time?!

We look into the Kingdom Knight's Castle. Why is it a castle? Because, cool people live in castles. And since the guild members of Kingdom Knights are cool, they have a castle. That was a mouthful. So, come along with me inside the cast- WOAH.

*SPLASH!!*

..Since when did they have a moat?..

*Few Minutes Later*

Let's try this again.. So, we're going into a castle, and stop at the moat.. *mumbles* How do I get in..? *Yells out* HEY, GUYS, IT'S MAURY. LET ME IN! And we watch as the door of the castle slowly comes down.. right on top of me.. WAIT!!!! *Jumps out of the way* That was too close for comfort!!

So anyway, this is the first floor and it's a long corridor.. And we're walking.. and walking.. and this is the living room. As we can see, some of the members are gathered here playing--

"HEY, QUIET! WE'RE TRYING TO PLAY BRAWL HERE!!"

So touchy.. Let's watch silently as they play against each other with serious face-

"THAT'S NOT WATCHING SILENTLY!!"

Okay, okay, I'm leaving. Sheesh.. So, we move along here, and this is the kitchen. ..It's actually pretty neat, considering there are a lot of guys in this castle.. I guess the girls are doing what they do best, cook and clean.. Oh, crap.

"Excuse me?"

I was just kidding!! I didn't know you were here, Rose! shame

"Be careful or we're firing you."

And we slowly watch as she stomps away into the dining table with some members.. Which I was going to go to, but I guess that's not a good idea anymore.. What are they eating there..? It looks like some yummy feast..

"WHICH YOU'RE NOT GETTING!"

I got it, I got it.. So, we go on, up these stairs.. Not down.. Because downstairs is some scary downstairs.. There could be some torture chamber down there or something..

"Yes, and if you've been a bad boy, you'll be going there.."

..Woah! Who said that?.. Oh, it was just Kiri going upstairs.. That had a very ..odd tone it.. So, I'm going to ignore that.. But, let's go upstairs! Those are where the bedrooms are. Each member has their own room. The castle is big enough for their own room, anyway.. So, up here in the second floor are the guys' bedrooms. It seems really.. quiet. Even their theater and game room is empty. That's odd..

Up the third floor are the girls' bedrooms. It smells.. like perfume.. Oh, Pretty Flower Blast scent..! ..Er, not that I know what that is..! Um, moving along.. In the girls' theater and game room, it looks like some girls are watching chick flicks..? Let's take a peek. And we look in.. Is that yuri..? ...All the guy are watching yuri with Kiri and Rose.. I thought girls liked yaoi?.. So um. I guess that's it. You've got to see the KK's Castle.. OH MY GOD, ARE THEY KISSING?

"He's being noisy. Kick him out."

Who's gonna kick me out? You all are a bunch of teenagers--

*Growl*

..What are these..?

"Some of the aggressors that's raided our castle, but we've defeated. They're pretty much under our control now."

Um.. I'm going to run away now.. So that's it for tonight! Stay tuned for the next episode of Maury, KK Edition!! In the next episode, we find out what the members of KK do to their new members! Until next time!!

*GROWL*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!! OKAY, OKAY, I'M LEAVING.

*SPLASH*

Man..! My clothes JUST got dry, too!

Chapter 6: New KK Members - February 18, 2010

Hey guys, and welcome to another episode of Maury, KK edition! Despite all the abuse I take-- as shown here--

"SPLASH.

...Since when did they have a moat?.."

And here--
'"Um. Why in the world do we pay you for, then?"

...You guys don't pay me, Rose.

"Oh, that's right. Hahaha, too bad for you."'

And also--

"Hey hey. Quit your drama session. This is OUR, being KK's, story." rose

..Yes, ma'am. omg Well anyway.. In this episode, we take a look at what the members of KK do to their new members. AKA: member initiation day! We're back in the KK castle and in their living room. And as you can see, the new members of the month are all gathered here sitting on the floor as the veteran members crowd around them, with Sci- the guild leader- stand in front of them in the middle of a speech. Let's see what he has to say..

"Hello thar. I'm Sci, I'm your guild member. I don't really talk much, but I'll be here if you need me." [Sci]

..Aww, look at that cute smile he has on.

"Each member must go through an initiation. Each depending on your veteran partner's choice of initiation. Those who survive initiation for the whole day will receive their own rooms.-- Yes?" [Sci]

"Um.. does the castle have enough rooms for new members?" [New Member]

"Yar. If we need new rooms, we'd just build another floor on top." [Sci]

"..Okay." [New Member]

"Anyway.. I will now assign the new members their partners." [Sci]

*Few Minutes Later*

Now that we have the new members bundled up with a veteran, let's see what some of the new members have to do. Kenssai, what will you have your new member do?

"He will have a whole day of taking care of my hamsters! He'll be feeding them, and cleaning them, and loving them, and taking them on walks, and playing fetch with them, and.." [Kenssai]

..Hamsters play fetch?

"Mine do!" [Kenssai]

... Moving along. Shady, I remember when you used to be a new member. Kiri made you watch a marathon of yuri. Now, what will you have your member do?

"He'll be eating cookies with me all day!" [Shady]

..What?

"Oooh, I like cookies!" [New Member]

"Me too! Let's go!" [Shady]

...

"Don't stay out too late, my precious chibi wolf!" [Kenssai]

"Yes, Kenssai! Will you give me a cookie if I come home on time?" [Shady]

"Of course." [Kenssai]

"Yay!" [Shady]

Now on to Kiri.. What will you have your member do?

"..That's a secret." [Kiri]

It'll be down in the torture chamber, won't it? omg

"Yes, they'll be going through lots of fun down in the torture chamber." [Kiri]

..I don't want to know what kind of fun.. Let's go on to.. Okay, I figured they'd be playing brawl. Um, oh! Sci! What will you do?

"Pokemon." [Sci]

...

"Pokemon games. Lots and lots and lots. Then we'll sing the pokemon theme song. And then we'll sing about how Chatot is cool!" [Sci]

... Fair enough. What about you, Rose? Actually, nevermind. It's probably gonna be something freaky. Well, there you have it, that's initiation day. Full of fun, torture, cookies, pokemon, and so much more! I'm Maury, thank you and stay tuned for the next episode where we go into a day of PvPing with the KK members!

Chapter 7: PvPing Time?! - June 5, 2010

Maury: That's right. The moment you all... well, fine, some... okay okay, a few of you, are waiting for! Welcome to another installment of Maury, KK edition! :D. Since episode one or two or whatever, you may have noticed that I've deviated from my actual show, but who cares! In this episode, we'll dig deep into a day of pvping with the KK members. :D When the members aren't out trying to get the forms or leveling their characters or beating up aggressors or rp-ing in the rp thread or just chilling around being bored, they're off pvping! Even if they're not exactly a pvp guild, they sure can get competitive. :o Right now, it looks like they're having a 5 man survival between Rose, Sci, Kiri, Muffin, and new member WhiteWings. This could get intense. o: It looks like Rose is using Starlet Amy.

Rose: It's Amy's fan club!~~

Maury: Amy has a fanclub? It looks like Sci will use Sentinel Ryan.

Sci: Are YOU the one who's destroying the forest?!

Maury: ...? And anyway... Kiri is using Crossbow Lire.

Kiri: Aww, it looks like yuri may win again!

Maury: ...Was that a lolpun? Muffin is using Duelist Sieghart.

Muffin: Class is in session!

Maury: And finally Wings is using Battle Mage Arme.

Wings: Hey! Let's take it easy~

Maury: And they're off! Kiri is off in the corner shooting away, and it looks like Wings got stuck in the barrage of arrows! Sci comes from behind Kiri and grabs him! Wings quickly gets away, and gets on the top platform and starts barraging the area with firebolts!

Wings: Firebolt! Firebolt! Firebolt!...

Maury: I better take cover! D: It's a wonder though how the Elven Forest manages not to get burned down from all of the firebolts. Oh! But, look! From above Wings! Muffin slams a sword down and Wings gets knocked back and falls to the ground. Quickly he gets up.. and charges for a.. Uh-oh.

Wings: DEEEEEEP... IMPACT!

Maury: TAKE COVER!!! Quickly, Rose, Sci, Muffin and Kiri use one of their skills to dodge the giant meteors. But, it looks like Kiri used one to early! And Kiri gets knocked out! There goes 1 out of 3 lives for Kiri! We go check on Rose now, it looks like she and Sci are decking it out on a 1 on 1 battle. Sci dashes for Rose, but Rose quickly gets a bike out of her Chuchu Bag, gets on it, and starts heading straight for Sci, and slams him head on.

Rose: Jacknife!

Maury: That's gotta hurt! But how does a bike fit in that small purse? Anyway, he quickly gets back up and grabs Rose. Rose gets back up, reaches into her bag, and suddenly.. the area starts getting dark, and clouds surround Rose and rain starts pouring down, and somehow there's a Jin standing there?...

Rose: Tears of the Goddess..!

Maury: Sci gets stunned by the rain! And suddenly Rose kicks the Jin! And Sci gets sent flying along with Jin! It looks like, that's Sci's first life down! Suddenly, Kiri rolls past Rose and Sci, followed by Muffin jumping over the two. Kiri continues to roll as he shoots arrows, while Muffin cautiously dodges. And then Muffin starts up a Rule Break, but Kiri rolls away. Suddenly, Kiri jumps back and sends a flurry of arrows.

Kiri: Dive Bombing!

Maury: Wings gets caught in the arrows, and suddenly, a giant harpy falls on Wings and takes down one of his lives!

Kiri: YAY! IT HIT!

Maury: As Kiri celebrates, Muffin charges in and uses a Rising Weapon! It sends Kiri flying and there goes his second life! Poor Kiri! Rose suddenly turns into a giant Amy in a dinosaur suit. And starts stomping around, everyone jumps around evading the shockwaves of the stomps, and she shoots laser from her mouth, which doesn't hit anyone. Well, that was useless. Wings quickly charges up.

Wings: Shockwave Force!

Maury: And electricity shoots out and hits Rose. Quickly, Wings dashes to Rose and grabs her and she loses a life. Looks like everyone except Muffin has lost a life.

Sci: Soul Impact!

Maury: I take it back! The Soul Impact hits Muffin, it was a direct hit! Looks like Muffin loses a life as well. Wings quickly gets back up to the top platform and sends down a rain of firebolts again. From all sides, Wings gets attacked and easily is downed. Poor Wings! Being a BM instantly makes you bait, doesn't it? Sci grabs Kiri and he falls down from the platform, and suddenly Sci dashes down as Kiri falls and double grabs him! Low blow! lol As both Sci and Kiri fall down...

Rose: Bomber Girl!

Maury: And Sci and Kiri get hit by the machine guns and a bomb. Kiri loses his final life, as Sci falls down from the impact. Rose quickly dashes in and goes for a catch grab! Sci gets up quickly and starts dashing away as Muffin comes in and Sci gets caught in Muffin's adrenaline attack! And Sci is downed.

Rose: KS!!

Maury: Out of nowhere...

Wings: AIRBLAST!

Maury: A giant green laser beam of sorts shoots out, and Muffin and Rose get caught in it. Ouch.. Now everyone is down to their last life, except Kiri who's out of the match. Sci and Wings are decking it out.. Wings sends an Iceball and freezes Sci, which he quickly gets out of it and Sci starts attacking him with a Back Spin Slash, while Wings is stunned, he lets out another Soul Impact, and knocks Wings out. Muffin suddenly gets caught in it?! And is knocked out too! All that's left is Rose and Sci. Rose runs to a corner and starts shooting bombs. Sci starts dashing for her, and she runs away. Soon enough, it becomes a wild goose chase as Rose shoots bombs and runs away, and Rose using Tears of the Goddess or Jacknife and Sci running away. The fight drags on, when all of a sudden...

???: MOMMYYYY. GRANDPA FORTY!!!!

Maury: What?! Suddenly, Shady comes out running and glomps Sci.

???: ROOOSE.

Maury: Along with Luna, who glomps Rose.

Rose: What's wrong?

Luna: ...Shady was being mean to me!!! He was.. he was.. trying to kill me in PvP!!!

Shady: Lies!!! Luna was trying to beat me up! She was! It's true!

Maury: ...Looks like the match is a draw for now. Well, there you have it folks. I hope you enjoyed that 5-man survival! Tune in next time when we the KK members go out to the zoo! Until next time!

Chapter 8: To the Zoo! - June 18, 2010

Maury: Hey, KKers. Welcome to another segment of Maury Tells it All. We're here outside of the KK Castle. Everyone's gathered out here. I wonder why..?

Sci: We're all going to the zoo. =w=

Maury: Oh, I see. How fun. Does that mean I'm going too?

Sci: Uhuh.

Maury: Oh, sweet.

Rose: Alright, everyone. Let's all go into the bus in a single file line so I can make sure everyone is here and accounted for.

Maury: And everyone piles onto the bus.. Let's sit here.

Kiri: So, what animal are you looking forward to seeing, Muffin?

Muffin: Hmmm.. The pandas! They remind me of someone long gone... Oh and the cacti! They remind me of a certain Cactuar..

Maury: Sparkles in Muffin's eyes..

Kiri: Oh, you mean because they remind you of---

Maury: HOLD IT!

Kiri&Muffin: ?!?!?

Maury: Um... Cacti aren't animals..

Muffin: Cactuar are.

Kiri: Yeah, they like move around and are super fast, and they shoot 1000 needles that pierce you and bring you to utter destruction!

Rose: Alright, everyone take their seats! We're about to head to the zoo now!

Maury: I'll just go and ask more people what animal they want to see... So, yes, what is your name?

Mack: ..Mack, sir..?

Maury: ..Oh, my. You called me sir.. What a polite boy! Yes, yes, please tell me your age, when were you born, where were you born, your social security, your blood type, do you like women, do you like men, do you like men like me--

Rose: Maury, sit your butt down! And quit pestering Mack so much.

Maury: I'll sit next to Mack then. So, how are you? How's the weather?...

...

Maury: ..And she tells me that it's a piece of paper! Can you believe it?!

Mack: Save me...

Sci: Alright, we're here.

Mack: Thank you..

...

Sci: Since we're a large amount of people, let's split up into two groups. You'll either follow Kennsai and me, or Blades and Rose. The people in our group are.. Wings, Muffin, Kiri, Shady, Luna, Bardo, and...

Rose: And the group with me is Mack, James, Amy, Gd, Trance, Shugo, and...

Sci: Alright, 40 members accounted for in our group.

Rose: 39 in ours. I guess that means Maury can join us.

Mack: Oh crap...

Maury: Mack! Don't leave me~!

Blades: So, what do we see first?

Gd: Swordmonkeys! Monkeys decking it out with their swords!

Trance: I don't think there are such things as that...

Gd: Yes, they are! They're in that TV Show, When Monkeys Clash! That's the whole reason why I became a swordman!

Shugo: No, there aren't such things as swordmonkeys. Even Firefox's spellcheck said so.

James: What..?

Shugo: I dunno.. Ask the author.

James: Author?.. Rose?

Rose: Huh? What?.. Author?..

Trance: I wanna see the komodo dragon!

Amy: I wanna see the penguins!

Rose: Bunnies...?

...

Kenssai: Sci, what do we see first?

Sci: Chatots...

Muffin: Birds?

Kiri: So I herd you liek Chatots. Laughing

Luna: Yayyyy, parrots! They're pretty.

Shady: No, no, giraffes! They have such a long neck.. Long like my boyfriend's--

Bardo: Peanuts!! Let's get some peanuts!

Wings: We just.. got here.. You want some food already?

Kenssai: It's decided, let's go look at the birds first!

...

Maury: So, our group goes into the aquarium first. Look at those pretty fish!.. ..And Mack.. He's so cool gazing at them... OW!! Amy! Why did you backhand me!

Amy: Stop staring at him, creeper!

Gd: Don't make me go all swordmonkey on you! I've mastered the technique, Super Monkey Slicing Slash Kick Attack Of Doom! Or.. SMSSKAOD for short!

Trance: It's still long even when it's shortened...

Shugo: THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!

Everyone: ......?

...

Luna: Shady, Shady! Look, peacocks!

Kenssai: Says here that there's a yoga move called the Peacock Pose. Where you have to stand erect and breathe easy.. Then...

Shady: ..Stand.. erect...? I.. miss my boyfriend....

Luna: ..What?... O.o Why are you going to an imaginary emo corner..?

Wings: Don't mind him.. He's being a pervert..

Luna: What?! Shady.......!

Shady: OW OW OW OW! STOP HITTING ME.

Luna: PERVERT!

Sci: Calm down, now, gaiz. We're going to see the parrots. ..I hope they can sing.. Like a Chatot..

Kiri: LIKE A BOSS.

...

Gd: MONKEYS!! Are they holding swords?! Hey, Mister! Where are the swordmonkeys?!

Random Person: What..?

Blades: Um, excuse my friend here...

Maury: And Blades drags Gd away as he tries to struggle..

Gd: I wanna see the swordmonkeys... T____T

Trance: We need to slap reality back to him.. Hey, Gd. They don't exist.. It's just a TV Show..

Gd: I know.

Trance: What?

Gd: I know they don't exist. ..But, it did bring some humor into the story, though, didn't it?

Trance: ... I guess?

Gd: But I'm still a swordsman! Master in the art of the SMSSKAOD!!

Trance: And I think that monkey is the master in the art of the FPA.

Gd: FPA?

Trance: Flinging Poo Attack.

Gd: Wah?!--EWWWW!

Trance: Bullseye. Haha.

...

Muffin: Ahhh.. The aquarium was fun, the fishies are so pretty! And the whale!

Bardo: Why are you called Muffin? Isn't that a food?

Muffin: Why are there some girls called Lily? Isn't that a flower?

Bardo: Why is Snow White?

Muffin: Why is Charlie Brown?

Bardo: Does Tom Cruise?

Muffin: Aha, you got me. There'll be a next time...

Sci: There they are.

Kenssai: Hey, guys! Did you all have fun!

Blades: Yup! Everyone ready to go to dinner? Let's go pile up in the bus, guys!

...

Mack: Hey, someone dropped their purse..

Luna: Maybe we should go to the front office and give it to them.. Maybe the owner will go there to find it..

Mack: Yeah, sounds good.

Maury: What about the group? Shouldn't we tell them first?

Luna: We'll be quick, we can catch up. Let's go.

Maury: Wait up!

Luna: The front office should be-- Ow!

???: What's this? Watch were you're going, girl.

Luna: Sorry, we're kinda in a hurry.

???(2): Huh? What's that you got there?

Mack: Huh? Um.. We found it on the ground, we were gonna give it to the front desk..

???: That isn't necessary. It's ours, give it..

Luna: Um.. Okay... Here...

???: Did you look inside?

Maury: No, we didn't!

???(2): Let's take them just in case.

Mack: Wh-What?! Hey!

Luna: Let go!!!

...

Rose: Let's have a head count.

Sci: Sounds good.

Rose: Sci.. We're missing 3 people...

Sci: What?! Who?!

Rose: Mack, Luna, and Maury...

Sci: How did we lose them?!

To be continued...

Where we last left off...

Mack: Hey, someone dropped their purse..

Luna: Maybe we should go to the front office and give it to them.. Maybe the owner will go there to find it..

Mack: Yeah, sounds good.

Maury: What about the group? Shouldn't we tell them first?

Luna: We'll be quick, we can catch up. Let's go.

Maury: Wait up!

Luna: The front office should be-- Ow!

???: What's this? Watch were you're going, girl.

Luna: Sorry, we're kinda in a hurry.

???(2): Huh? What's that you got there?

Mack: Huh? Um.. We found it on the ground, we were gonna give it to the front desk..

???: That isn't necessary. It's ours, give it..

Luna: Um.. Okay... Here...

???: Did you look inside?

Maury: No, we didn't!

???(2): Let's take them just in case.

Mack: Wh-What?! Hey!

Luna: Let go!!!

...

Rose: Let's have a head count.

Sci: Sounds good.

Rose: Sci.. We're missing 3 people...

Sci: What?! Who?!

Rose: Mack, Luna, and Maury...

Sci: How did we lose them?!

Chapter 9: Kidnapped?! - June 29, 2010

The guildmembers are all standing outside of the zoo beside their bus.

"This is bad.. really bad..." Rose said with worry in her voice."We've looked all over for them, but they're nowhere to be found..."

"..I can summon my demon army to search them out.." Demon said, silently..

"I don't think.. it'd be a good idea for your demons to be revealed out in the public." Rose said, unsure.

"Why would it be a bad idea? We're just trying to find our guildmates, anyway." But Rose just shook her head. Demon quieted down.

"Sci, what do you think we should do?" Blades asked.

"We're gonna send some of our members out to do a night search." Sci said calmly. "They might be roaming around at this time of the night."

"Out in the streets?" Rose asked.

"We can ask around and see if they've seen those three. They couldn't of gone that far." Blades said. "I'll do that."

Sci nodded, "Alright. Bring a couple more with you."

"Alright, Sonic, Koopa, Kenssai, Demon, Amy, James, you're coming with me. We're gonna browse the perimeter and ask people around if they've seen Mack, Maury, and Luna." Blades told the 6, they nodded and moved out.

"Hm..? Oh, what's up, Kenshin?" Rose asked Kenshin as he poked her on the arm.

"I heard from someone witnessing 2 guys and a young girl struggling against 2 shady men." Kenshin explained.

"And he or she didn't bother to interfere or call the police?" Rose exclaimed, frustrated. He shook his head.

"She said the men looked really scary. But, she saw them carry the three out into a van of sorts and driving off.. She took a picture of the drivers' license, at least.." He explained. "She sent the picture over to my phone."

"Let's see it." She replied with a nod. Kenshin took his phone out and opened up the image.

"SUX2BU..." Rose read with disdain.. "Sci, we have a lead on something."

"I heard. Let's do some research on this license plate." Sci nodded. "Trance, you brought your laptop, right?"

He ran to the three and nodded. "Yeah, it's in the bus. I'll get it." And he rushed into the bus. After a few minutes, he came back out.

"Know how to do research on license plates?" Sci asked him. He shook his head. "Do any of you know how to look up the owner of a license plate?"

Wings nodded and walked to them. Trance handed his laptop over to him. The 4 look over at his shoulder as he started looking it up on the computer.

"1052 results with that license plate.." He announced.

"Damn it." Sci cursed under his breath. "Can we narrow it out to those that live near this location? Or at least 100 miles?"

"I'll see what I can do." He said. "Well, there is one but about 19 miles away. Turns out the owner of the van was imprisoned 20 years ago and was let out just recently. Says he was charged with theft and murder."

"Murder?.." Kenshin repeated.

"Wait. There's another one. The owner lives only 5 miles away. This one currently is unemployed." Wings muttered.

"We have two leads. We'll send two more parties out and investigate each of these owners. Wings, write down the addresses of the owners. Bardo, you and your team go to the one that's 19 miles away. Shugo, your team goes to the one that's 5 miles away. Quickly, move out."

"Shady, Gd, let's go." Shugo said. Gd takes his phone out and gets a map on his phone. The three gave a nod to each other then the others, and they ran off.

"Kenshin, Muffin, Kiri, come with me." Bardo said. Kenshin and Muffin nodded. "...Where's Kiri?

"...We lost another one? I thought Kiri was here!" Rose face-palmed.

"I think we lost Kiri when we looked all over for the three." Muffin said.

"Hope he's okay.." Rose muttered.

"Kenshin, Muffin, let's go then." Bardo said. "We'll take the bus, if that's alright."

Sci nodded, and the three piled into the bus and drove off.

'Dingalingalinglinglingaling!'

"Hey, it's my phone.." Rose sighed. "Hello?"

"..."

"Hello?"

"...I found them.. They took Luna, Mack, and Maury, don't worry, I'm spying on them.." A quiet voice said, then hung up.

"What? Wait! Kiri? Is that you? Hello? Hello!"

"What's going on?" Sci asked.

"I think that was Kiri saying that he's spying on them." Rose said.

...

Earlier...

"Where could they be?.. And it seems like I lost the rest of them.." Kiri muttered to himself as he ran through the parking lot. Kiri then heard struggling and sees a van with 'Pizza King' written on it, he hid behind a car and took a peek.

"I said.. let go!" Luna exclaimed, she started trying to pull away from a skinny man's grip, while Mack tries to jump him. Maury tries to help them out, but the other, more buff, man grabs the two.

"Let's get outta here before people notice us." Buff man said. Skinny man nodded and opened the door to the van and tossed Luna in the back seat. Then, Buff man followed suit and pushed the two in the van.

"Ow!!" Luna exclaimed.

"Crap.. This isn't good." Kiri muttered, he sneaked to the van as Skinny man gets in the driver's seat. Buff man stopped for a second.

"Who's there?!" Kiri dove behind another car before he was found out. The Buff man looked around a bit, then got into the van. Kiri quickly ran to the van's trunk and slowly opened the door and got in.

...

"Have you seen a young girl and two guys?" Blades asked the man at the ice cream stand.

"Yes, I have." He answered. "Lemme guess, did she cheat on you with two other guys, too?"

"No! No! She's not my girlfriend, she's a guildmate-- wait. 'Too'?" He asked.

"Yeah.. I caught my girlfriend with two guys in my own home.. How sad is that?" The ice cream man sighed.

"Um, yeah. Sad.." Blades said, not paying attention.

"I can't believe my own girlfriend would do that to me.. I really thought she was a nice girl. Turns out she's just a lying b-"

"Look, I gotta go." Blades interrupted.

"Woah, woah. You can't leave when I just started on my story! Listen to it! So anyway, she started saying that she never actually liked me, and that she was going out with me for.." Blades sighed.

...

"Have you seen a girl with pink hair and pigtails, a guy with orange- sorta spikey- hair, and a nerdy looking guy? The nerdy looking guy usually talks like he's an announcer to some news program and latches onto the orange haired guy like a leech." Amy explains.

"No, sorry, but that's just an example of how corrupt our society has become, young lady!" Said the old woman.

"Why, because a girl has pink hair and the guy has orange hair?" She asked in a rush.

"Absolutely. They should learn a thing or two from that nerdy guy. Can you introduce me to that man sometime? I myself would like to learn a thing or two from him." The old lady said.

"Sure, I'm sure he'd love to show you things. I'll let you know when I find him again." Amy answered.

"Lovely. I'll be waiting for you."

"Yeah. Bye." Amy answered and ran off.

...

"I'm telling you, it'd be easier if we just summon my demon army." Demon said.

"If you're absolutely positive, then let's give it a shot." Kenssai said. Demon celebrated and jumped up and down.

"Are you sure about this, Kenssai?" Koopa asked nervously. Demon opens a book up and starts chanting. The sky turns dark, the wind becomes gusts of winds, and the ground shook a bit.

"Come out, my demons!" Demon exclaimed. A few circle of lights shine on the ground and demons come out from the light. "These are my demons specialized in tracking people down."

"They're kinda.. scary looking." Sonic said uneasy. A demon glares at them, and Koopa and Sonic hide behind Kenssai. James stood his ground.

"I'm too tough to be scared of you!" He exclaimed.

"Hi! I hope you can help us find Luna, Mack, and Maury!" Kenssai greeted them.

"You know what to do." Demon told them. His army start marching, before they stop in their tracks. A demon mutters something to the rest and points somewhere. Soon, they started rushing off. "Hey, I think they found them already! I told you this would of been easier!"

The four start following the group. "The arcade?" Koopa asked, shocked.

"They run fast for demons." James muttered.

"They're not zombies, you know." Demon said. They run into the empty arcade. Soon they find the demon army... Playing DDR.

"..." The four stare at Demon who blushes with obvious embarrassment.

...

"I don't think we should be going this fast, guys! We're gonna get caught by the police." Bardo exclaimed to Kenshin.

"We have to hurry." Kenshin exclaimed back.

"But, I'm starting to feel sick.." Bardo replied, woozy. "Muffin, don't you have any objections?"

"Objection? OBJECTION!" Muffin exclaimed. Kenshin started swerving from shock.

"Wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" Bardo gets tossed to the left and then the right as Kenshin tries to get back onto the road.

"Don't surprise me like that, Muffin!" Kenshin laughed.

"But.. Objection..!" Muffin said. "I know! I'll work on Case 5!"

Muffin takes out a DS and starts playing Phoenix Wright. "I think I need.. to throw up.." Bardo muttered.

"We're almost there! Let's kick some bad guy butt!" Kenshin exclaimed.

...

"You wanna knock on the door..?" Gd muttered, uneasy.

"What and say, 'Hey, you took our friends. Give them back, please.'? I don't think they'll be that nice." Shugo answered.

"Hello!!" Shady rings the doorbell.

"Shady!!" Gd and Shugo exclaimed. The door opens and they see a man looking like a bum.

"..."

"..."

"...Yes?" The bum asked.

"Um.. Um.." Shady started. Then, he pushed Shugo a little forward, as he hid behind him.

"Uh.. ...'Hey, you took our friends. Give them back, please..?'" Shugo said, scared.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"...Friends?.. I haven't had those human ones since I got fired.. The only ones I have are my Wii and my Brawl."

"...Brawl?!" They said all at once.

"Yep. I'm unbeatable." The bum answered proudly.

"I'm sure you'd lose to SuperCoolGuy995." Shady said in a matter-of-fact way.

"I AM SuperCoolGuy995." He answered with a smirk.

"Nuh-uh." Shady said, he just nodded.

"OH MY GOD!" Gd suddenly exclaimed. He ran into his house. "You.. You.. You have the latest season of When Monkeys Clash on DVD!!!!"

"Don't just go into his house like that!!" Shugo shouted angrily.

"But.. But.. Swordsmonkeys!!" Gd exclaimed. The guy laughed.

"So you're a fan, too, huh?"

"Yeah!! They're the reason why I became a swordsman! I.. I.. I even bought their limited edition Kickass Monkeys video game!"

"Swordsman, huh? Can you do their SMNHTHASFBA?" He asked.

"No!! I.. I must learn it!"

"Want me to show you?"

"Yes!"

"Wait, you gotta battle me in Brawl first!" Shady exclaimed.

"..." Shugo shook his head. "So much for finding the three."

...

"Hey, looks like the van stopped.." Kiri muttered. He slowly took a peek out the window between the trunk and the seats at front. Skinny man and Buff man get out of their seats and drag Luna, Mack, and Maury out. Kiri waits a while, and slowly gets out the trunk, too. He tiptoes and watches as they drag the three into the warehouse, then they close the garage door. Kiri slowly walks to the side and peeks at the window. He sees the three tied up next to each other on the floor, while the 2 men pace around. He tries to listen to them. "Ugh, I can't hear what they're saying.."

"Hope the boss comes soon.. I don't get why we were supposed to hold the goods today." Buff man complained.

"It's cuz he had to spend time with his wife and kid, dummy." Skinny replied.

"But.. what's in the bag anyway..?"

"Dunno. Prolly something important enough that he couldn't show his wife and kid." Kiri hears a car come in. "I think that's him!"

"Good, you two are here. You have what I asked you to hold on to?" A man said. Buff man gave him a bag. The man looked inside and smiled.

"Hey, boss, what's in there anyway?" Buff man asked.

"It's my girl's birthday tomorrow. It's my gift for her."

"...That's it?" Skinny man in shock.

"Gee, boss, I thought it was gonna be something dangerous like a bomb."

"We're not gangsters, you know.."

"But... We took 3 people hostage.."

"..WHAT?" The boss exclaimed loudly.

"Um.. yeah! Pen here said that we should take them hostage since they found the bag." Skinny man said nervously.

"I did not.. Luvog said that we should!" Buff man, Pen, nervously said, too. "..We took them cuz it was the first thing that came to my mind!"

"You know we're responsible for taking these kids, right?! We're gonna be imprisoned for kidnapping!" The boss exclaimed. "And I'm just a pizza shop owner!"

"Let's kill them, then." Pen replied.

"Quit living in that gangster fantasy of yours!" Luvog exclaimed. "I knew I shouldn't of listened to you!"

"Yeah, you shouldn't of! Now what am I gonna tell my wife?! 'Hey, Honey, I'm in prison. I got charged for kidnapping three kids because of my idiot employees.'?! Once we take care of this, you guys are fired!"

"Alright, I'm charging in.." Kiri mutters and sees a shovel on the ground. He grabs it and breaks the glass with it and jumps in.

"Who's there?!" The boss asks, panicked.

"LET MY FRIENDS GO!!" Kiri shouts.

"I told you we're in trouble!!" He exclaims. He takes the three and pushes them to Kiri. "Here! Take them! I'm sorry!"

"..Huh?" Kiri said, stunned. The boss bows down before Kiri.

"Please, please. Don't call the police! I'm just a pizza shop owner and my employees are idiots. But, they're harmless, they wouldn't even be able to shoot a gun even if it saved their life!"

"...?" Kiri unties the three.

"Yeah, it's alright, Kiri." Luna muttered, staring at the sobbing boss on the floor. "They really are just idiots."

"Yeah, yeah! Idiots!" The boss sobbed. "See, in the bag, it's just a present for my wife. See?"

He took the bag and opened it up to show Kiri a pizza decorated picture frame with a picture of the boss, a woman, and a child.

"I'll call Sci and the rest and let them know you're okay.." Kiri muttered and took his phone out. "Hello? Yeah. They're fine. We'll head back there. Yeah. No, no. Don't worry about it."

"As apology, I'll take you back to the zoo." The boss said. "You two! You're going to pay for gas."

The two started sobbing now.

"MACK!! I WAS SO SCARED!" Maury exclaimed and jumped on Mack.

"Ow! Let go!" He shouted and pushed him off.

...

"Luna, Mack, Maury!" Rose exclaimed as they ran to the three. They all gathered around the three. "You aren't hurt are you?"

"No, we're fine." Luna smiled and said.

"Good job, Kiri." Sci nodded. "I let the others know that you're alright, they should be getting back now."

"Sorry for the trouble, guys.." Mack said sadly.

"It's alright, you guys are safe. What happened to those that captured you?"

"Um.."

"..Who are you?! Do you want a beating?!" Rose exclaimed, rage burning. "I'll call the police--"

"It's fine, Rose." Kiri interrupted. "Those two are just gonna have fun in my dungeon tonight.."

Lovug and Pen gulped and started sweating beads.

...

"..I'm such a sad lonely man.." The ice cream man said, crying.

"Look, mister, I'm sorry about all that, but I gotta go. My friends are found now." Blades said.

"It's quite alright, thank you for listening to a man's story." He sniffled. "Here, I'll give you and your friends free ice cream, just come back with them, alright?"

"..Free ice cream for 90 people?" Blades said.

"Sure." The man said. "I'm closing the store down anyway and moving back to my mother's."

Blades nodded, thanked him, and started running out the door. "We'll be back later!"

...

"Go, James! Beat that demon up!" Sonic exclaimed.

"I dunno, that demon is pretty good at this game." Koopa said to Sonic.

"Well, they DDR when I'm not calling them to rule the world.." Demon said.

"Gah!! I got a B.." James said sadly. "What did he get? ..WHAT? An AAA?!"

"Alright, guys, it was fun, but let's go. They found them." Kenssai laughed.

"Looks like I'm broke for this week." Demon muttered checking his wallet. The demons went back to their home, and they all walked out the arcade.

...

"Thanks for having us." Shugo said with a smile.

"Yeah, man, I didn't know you were that good, Shugo. You almost had me there." The bum said. "You too, Shady."

"Let's play again some other time, kay?" Shady said.

"And show me more Swordsmonkey moves!" Gd piped in.

"Sure. Just lemme know." He replied. They waved and walked off.

...

"AHHHHHHHHH!! SLOW DOWN ON THAT U-TURN, KENSHIN!!" Bardo exclaimed.

"Well, we gotta get back!" Kenshin exclaimed back.

"Emaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa." Muffin said happily.

...

"So, here we are all gathered in the ice cream shop. We're all safe and sound. And Kiri's gonna have a bit of fun doing stuff in the dungeon tonight." Maury said.

"Oh yeah. Hey, Maury." Amy said suddenly.

"Yes?"

"I want you to meet someone, she's taken a liking to you."

"Huh? REALLY? A woman?! Liking me?!"

"Yup!"

"Sorry, Mack, it's just not working between us. It's me, not you."

"..I'm saved!!" Mack exclaimed happily and starts happily eating his ice cream.

"Well, all is well and ends well. Thanks for tuning in to Maury Tells It All! Though I didn't really narrarate much these two episodes! Tune in next time when we find out what happens what the guildies would do if Pokemon really existed! See you all later!"

I'll be opening a thread for sign-ups if you want to be in the fic. :3 Also so I can keep track of who I need to put in it. x.x Hope you enjoy!

LULZ. Nice one Rosy! ;D

Dusk Posts : 1971 Join date : 2010-06-10 Age : 27

Ah the Maury tell it all but I've seen the maury show its nothing like the little side fic you are doing.

LOLZ i love it am in there 2 lines WEEEE~~~~ XD

trance wrote:: Ah the Maury tell it all but I've seen the maury show its nothing like the little side fic you are doing.

Yeah, it isn't. The first couple, like the first 2 were, but then I just started deviating from the show. ;x I wouldn't call it Maury anymore, but I've used the name already.. :x

Dusk Posts : 1971 Join date : 2010-06-10 Age : 27

easy just its a diffrent guy named maury

lol wut

Fair enough. nod

Guest

This was too hidden away on your profile.
Moving it was a good decision :3

Who's me papi then? :(

Dusk Posts : 1971 Join date : 2010-06-10 Age : 27

Pish your dad is God!

Chapter 8, updated!

Samurai Posts : 210 Join date : 2010-06-09

Rose rocks....
LIKE A BAWS.

There's an error in deh grammer
Maury: Oh, I see. How fun. Does that I'm going too?

Other than that, great. :D
I smacked maury. :)

And Shugo owned us all. o.o

Dusk Posts : 1971 Join date : 2010-06-10 Age : 27

I loved the FPA thing

NUUUUUUUU i got stolen ! am going toget raped WHAAAAAAAAAA *dies* *uses soul sucyaht and slahes the guy or girl who stole me * hehe ^^

Muffin: Cactuar are.

Kiri: Yeah, they like move around and are super fast, and they shoot 1000 needles that pierce you and bring you to utter destruction! (unless it's the Jumbo Cactuar.... Laughing

(10,000 needles (muahahahahahahaha!)))

Laughing

hehehe... epic FFVIII reference

Thanks for the correction, Amy.
Lol, 10000 needles. That dang Jumbo Cactuar. :x

Dusk Posts : 1971 Join date : 2010-06-10 Age : 27

what is with that purse and why did maury like mack?

Dusk Posts : 1971 Join date : 2010-06-10 Age : 27

I am sad now.

Shady: No, no, giraffes! They have such a long neck.. Long like my boyfriend's--

cant... stop.... giggling Laughing

Guest

Clueless James is clueless...wait aren't I James?
Why am I only asking questions in the fan fic?
Do I always ask questions?
When did I last ask a question?
Why am I asking questions now?

Dusk Posts : 1971 Join date : 2010-06-10 Age : 27

*smack james up side teh head*
make sense.

Guest

Why did ya hit meh? [dizzy]
What makes sense? o.o
I am ending meh questions nao I can't keep it up anymore :3
:D

KIRI'S A GIRL?! O_O

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